the champagne fairy

The Champagne Fairy

When I was just a little fairy I had a problem.  I couldn’t fly straight at all.  My mother always said to me “Honey, you were born with two left wings.”   She said that my theme song should be “Straighten up and fly right”.

I loved to fly, but I got into so many accidents that I ruined almost all of my tutus.  One day I was flying to school and accidentally flew into the bushes.  Another day I was helping my mother to do the shopping. As I hovered over the thistledown, I flew into a bee and he chased us all the way home.  My tutus all had holes in them and I always looked a little tattered.

I was not a successful fairy.  I could talk the talk, but not fly the fly.

fairy crashed into a treeAs I got older, my flying skills worsened.  I often ended up with my nose parked in a tree because I was checking out the boys while I flew.  I grew to be quite at home in a bird’s nest. (It took the birds longer to get used to my crash landings).

Eventually the time came when I had to grow up.  It was time for me to graduate from fairy school.  Sometimes I think they allowed me to graduate simply to ease the strain on their budget.  I sent so many flying instructors to the hospital with various injuries that I accidentally caused during my lessons that it was probably cheaper to get rid of me!

champagne coolerI am the shy type.  If I could fly straight. I think I would be braver, but I really prefer to hide among the flowers and just watch things happening.  Unfortunately. at graduation we all had to air-dance for the audience.  My partner was already bruised from our practice sessions.

I will never admit to anyone how I got my hands on a whole bottle of champagne, but I did.  I drank it all.  It was for medicinal purposes only!  By the time I drained the bottle I was feeling a whole lot better.  I felt that I could do anything!

I dressed in my new gossamer gown and met my partner for the ceremony.  We flew off together into the sunset as my parents proudly looked on.

I will tell you one thing. I can fly a whole lot better after a bottle of champagne than I can without it! At the ceremony I danced up a storm! Even my partner was impressed. I didn’t wing him over once! Before we left to go home, the police moths asked me to fly the straight line. Guess what? I did it!  I had never before flown so straight.

Now, this isn’t something I’d recommend. I wasn’t quite so pleased with myself the next morning. My wings were throbbing and droopy. I didn’t feel well at all. Champagne isn’t something that you can drink without paying the price! A fairy with a hangover is not a happy fairy at all – she’s got the temper of a wasp.

Now that I am older, I am quite happy to fly crooked. I still get to where I am going, but ooh the sights I see on my crooked flight path! Have I got some stories to tell you!

But they will have to wait for another day…